I've spent a lot of time (especially lately) questioning if it is all worth it in the end. I've been so frustrated trying to get things squared away with Michael and school. I really do love his school and think his teachers are great, but he still isn't getting the help he needs - and that is not great. All of the little things just keep adding up and I find it overwhelming. I feel like I'm standing in a sound proof booth, screaming at the top of my lungs. This is not the norm for me. I might get a little excited over things here or there but rarely do I ever let myself get this worked up. Rarely do I let myself worry like I have these last 6 weeks. After a while, it starts to take its toll on one's nerves and spirit. If he weren't my son I would have given up by now.
I'm about to have a good, old-fashioned temper tantrum if things don't start getting better.
When things start spiraling downward I start to feel like all of the hard work and time that I have put into helping my child is being undone faster that I can redo. Then I start to wonder, is the world going to win this one? Niceness is often rewarded with bullying or those who take advantage. Do I really have to play by their rules to get ahead?
And at the end of the day, this is the answer I have come up with... to live with as few regrets as possible I must do what is right for my family every minute possible. Sure, we all screw up because no one is perfect. But we must strive to do our best even knowing that someone else can come along and ruin our progress.
It is stuff like this that gets me through:
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001
And if you're feeling sappy and wanting more, here is the link to see Martina McBride's video along the same theme. I highly recommend it!
-- Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 --
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—
this is the gift of God.