The Wedding Dance

Someone do this and invite me to your wedding. Please.
Or any party for that matter.

The Story of Michael, Part 15

Today is Michael's birthday!

Happy 10th big guy!!
I can't believe it's been a decade already.

And thus began the start of our journey as parents.

In honor of the big day, I'm going to continue our story. To catch up -- just click here.

Last I wrote we finished first grade. Birthday party invitations had stopped coming from classmates. Little brother was getting in to Michael's stuff - grrrr... We were on the cusp of sibling rivalry starting. Michael was coasting through the academics of school but could barely hold it together emotionally to finish the day.

By the end of first grade, I had pulled him to the special ed lab for breaks twice a day. This helped ease the stress he felt, but his anxieties were intensifying daily. The school year ended and we breathed a sigh of relief. Kind of...Summer means lack of structure. Time to run. I kept Michael busy in programs to provide social interaction and daily routine. This meant that Jacob and I were always dropping Michael off and picking him up. While everyone else spent mornings sleeping in and afternoons by the pool, we were looking for time in our busy schedule to go to the pool. Other moms complained about having friends over to play (extra mess, extra kid to care for) but Michael had only one friend, the next door neighbor. Michael rarely initiated contact with others but was thrilled when his pal would come over asking to play. And although he was thrilled to have him over, he usually still parallel played instead of interacting. I think he spent as much time playing with Jacob as he did with Michael! Funny thing is that Michael was perfectly content with his friendships. If you asked him he had a lot of friends - his definition of friend was a little less involved than the rest of ours.

Michael's fears at this point were getting more and more extreme. He was scared of bugs. His whole body shook every time it rained, might be a tornado. He flipped out if someone in the room mentioned being sick. He thought it would kill him - literally. But the big one this summer was the water. He felt completely comfortable in up to 3 feet of water. But in swimming lessons, he panicked when he had to go to the 4 foot marker. We spent over a year in private swimming lessons to conquer this fear and it was not easy. It wasn't cheap either!

Funny thing about anxiety is that you get used to it. You just deal with it episode to episode and forget to find a way to break the cycle. You don't realize how much of your time and energy it zaps. That's where we were. Just coping with it and getting through the day praying for good weather. My anxiety had nothing to do with Michael's worrying and more to do with who his teacher would be the next year. The school would not place him before the year's end so, once again, I knew I would be educating her in 30 minutes or less on the ins and outs of each and every high and low, quirk and strength of my most amazing but complicated child.

His placement couldn't have been any better. In our "let me bombard you with information" conference the day before school started, his teacher listened intently and asked great questions. His teacher was amazing. She handled any and all difficulties with strength and grace. She provided him with compassion and love. She understood what made him tick and when to stand her ground. Most parents of a child on the spectrum will agree - some people "get" your child but many of them don't. We were lucky. She was dedicated to her job and for that year she was dedicated to helping Michael.

But the anxieties built anyway.

This was also the year that I started working for our state in a flex hour job. I was a family coach in the autism pilot program. This job was a blessing to me because I identified with different aspects of each family. Our challenges were different from a lot of the families, but the similarities were strong. We all tend to feel isolated and struggle with thoughts of the future. If you don't have a good support system you can really become a hermit. It's easier to stay home than to be in the community.

As I learned more and more about my families, I learned more and more about autism. I saw that anxiety was a huge factor for each kiddo on the spectrum. It presented in many different ways but was still a common denominator. I also started paying attention to meds. I started asking other moms about medications and treatments they were accessing.

And in addition to me working my flex hour job, we were building a house. We moved in to that house in the middle of the school year. Made sure it had a storm shelter too! But never fear, Michael evolved to worrying that the storms would make the electricity go out. These kids are tricky like that.

Michael was also having more sick days. Strep throat, sinus infections, and -- OH BOY! -- migraine headaches. He acted lethargic all of the time. His teacher asked me many times if he was getting enough sleep! I can't say I blame her for asking because he did look sleep deprived! He was sleeping 11 hours every night, though. Eventually with all of his issues, we had to schedule a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy & turbinate reduction. Woohoo! I thought this would help him not to feel sleepy. And maybe - just maybe - without the pain and with better sleep his behavioral issues would improve.

And? Those things remained the same. Headaches and strep have been gone since then. Had a few ear infections that year but otherwise he is healthy. And still lethargic. And still worrying about everything.

It was at this time I realized that Michael needed our help. Doc and I neither one wanted to put our son on medication that wasn't necessary. He was already on allergy medication daily.

Towards the end of the year, I got the call and I was done discussing it. When the Doc heard, he caved as well. The story really is funny to me now in a horrifying kind of way. It was also a turning point and I feel terrible that our wake up call had to come to us like this.

Michael's teacher called to tell me the story, but I don't remember how she approached the subject. What I do know is that Michael walked in to his class in a full panic. He was crying hysterically. When he gets like that his voice gets really high and REALLY loud. His teacher asked what was wrong and he told her, "I have diarrhea cha cha cha and I don't want to die!" And the whole class heard it.

I must stop here and explain that in our maturity, we still sing the diarrhea song. (Diarhea cha cha cha, diarhea cha cha cha) We didn't realize that Michael had no idea that we were kidding. We have since corrected this so that he knows the proper name for the runs.

So that was the day we called the doctor to discuss our options.

There are some other fun tidbits to share from this year.

More later...

7

Look what Dawn gave me!
If you guys have given me an award or tag and I didn't use it - I apologize. I know I have forgotten to play along on some of the tags recently but I'm going to claim mom craziness. Believe me, I loved being mentioned and thought of. Please forgive me.

I can't HONESTLY tell you that the sign makes sense, but I didn't make it. I just follow the rules.

I'm supposed to tell you 7 things about myself and then tag some others.
Oh my. I'm pretty sure you have heard it all at this point!

I'll give it a try...

1. I had strawberry blond hair until around the time I turned 4. That's when it went blond. My grandmother was so disappointed since she used to be a redhead. She had high hopes for me. Wish she could have seen my Michael. Now I just help it along to keep it blond, but I was once a red head!

2. I hate being cold. I worry about getting cold. I see things on TV and think - wow that really looks cold! However, I do love to ski so I bundle up really warm.

3. My hair is naturally very wavy. I go to a lot of trouble to get rid of the wave and frizz! Straightening shampoo, straightening conditioner, straightening gel then blow it dry while pulling the hair straight the whole time. And then the final touch of the straightening iron. It's a lot of trouble but my, oh my - I can't take the frizz. It's one of the few sacrifices I'm willing to make when it comes to appearance.

4. I'm missing a bone in my little toe that causes shoes to fit me wrong. It's a real problem! The other weird part of this story is that my sister had to have surgery on both of her feet. The same bone that is missing on my foot was triangular shaped on her foot! I'm very picky about my shoes because I don't want to have surgery (which is probably inevitable).

5. I read every night just before going to bed. I can't sleep if I don't! I'm currently reading Scarpetta by Patricia Cornwell. If you like murder mystery kind of stuff - I recommend that series starting with Body of Evidence. Next book is going to be Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. As a kid I would run out of books and read the same one over and over again. Childhood favorites were Diary of Anne Frank and Heidi. I also read everything from the Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and Bobbsey Twins series... many times over.

6. I'm a horrible shopper. The only time I actually enjoy shopping is when I'm with girlfriends but only the casual shoppers. Can't go with you bargain hunters or picky people. It's just way too involved! As a rule, I don't want to take the time to find the perfect fit, the best price, the perfect look. I will buy the it'll do just so I can be done. Online shopping has been a dream come true for me - except for shoes. I have to try shoes on to know if they will work.

7. I'm a phone call phobic. I know. Whoever heard of such a thing? I hate calling people that I don't already talk to every day. I have severe anxiety about dialing the phone and waiting for them to answer! I will do everything I can to avoid making that call - email, text, beg someone else to call. Doesn't matter how much I adore them or how nice they are. I don't even like to call and order pizza. I know. This officially classifies me as weird (if the rest of the list or even this blog didn't convince you already). I'm okay with it. It's how I roll. I'm also working on it. Seems to be getting worse the older I get.

So there you have it. Seven things that I don't think I've told you yet. I may have to take a pass on the next get to know you just because you probably know as much as I'm going to tell!

And now it is your turn. I'm tagging:
MommaAmma
Out on a Lam
The Southern Family
A Day in the Life of Ro
P31 Wife
This Mommas Musings

And hey, tag yourself if you like and link in the comments section. I got tired and lazy but I'd love to read your lists.

Peanuts

Snoopy lives here.See the resemblance?

I'm going to have to train him to find his bowl since he runs all over the house with it!

And by the way - Pikachu is looking for a home.

I'd get in trouble with the neighbor kids for calling her that, but having the Pokemon fascinated child and seeing this poor pup's crooked tail is too much for me to pass up!

She goes by many names depending on which neighbor you ask but this brindle colored stray was found nearby. If you know someone who might like a middle aged part boxer who is very sweet, let me know. She needs to find a home. You can email me at thatsbaloney@gmail.com if you want more information. She is up to date on her shots and just needs someone to love her. The neighbors are working on fattening her up since she was wasting away when found. Her bottom teeth are broken, probably from eating rocks and whatever else she could find. She loves kids and is very gentle! Not sure how she feels about other dogs, but gets along well with the little old pup at the house she is temporarily staying at.

Over here it is ice, ice baby. And it's too cold (too cold). Annie will like that with her love of rap.

Fine by me as I sit recouping from the crud. Cold air triggers my asthma so I'm happy to have to stay home for a while. I'm also extra grateful that the Doc stayed home Tuesday, too. Will be like an extra weekend and fun to have us 4 trapped in the same spot. Roads must be bad if Doc didn't go to work!

The good news about the ice?

Should melt in time for Michael's upcoming birthday party. Just in time!

Too bad I haven't bought his gift yet. Uh oh!

Because I Hate To Miss A Party

Flat Baloney loves a girls night out. Since the real Baloney (why am I speaking in third person?) couldn't make it to the Oklahoma Bloggers Hoedown that Dawn planned for Friday night, I sent Flat Baloney in my place!
Here is Dawn ready for a fun night out. Her daughter Courtney designed my outfit. I love that she added bright red lipstick!
I think it will be hard for anyone to make a better outfit for Flat Baloney. Courtney deserves an award for that!
Here is Flat Baloney with Dawn and her BFF Michelle.

Let the drinks begin! Apparently, Flat Baloney has a high tolerance for alcohol? The real Baloney would have been wondering how she was gonna get home.Flat Baloney got to see a lot of her Blog Friends!

Here she is with Annie (Having a Ball) and Chere' (A Day In The Life).

Ooooh. This one will hurt in the morning. Maybe Flat Baloney doesn't have the same beer allergy as the real Baloney?
Bud light is not my friend.

Good thing I got some food! Alcohol on an empty stomach can only lead to disaster!

And another drink. Of course.

Flat Baloney is quite the party girl!

Hope this isn't the expectation for me when I can attend in person next time?

Now I'm doing what I do best. Flat Baloney seems to attract the boys. What is it with men and paper dolls? Hmmmm.

I'd tell you his name if I knew it, but obviously likes me... a lot.

Funny thing is - that outfit would not be the type to attract the gents. Must be the alcohol?

Hope Doc doesn't hear about this...

These guys ought to join my Facebook fan club!

Fun evenings such as these come with a price.

Flat Baloney had fun Friday night, but Saturday morning she paid for it.

Thanks Dawn & Co. for a fun evening! Flat Baloney appreciated the night out!

The real Baloney looks forward to the next OK Blogger Hoedown!

I Loves A Good Prank

How appropriate that I would post this today of all days. If my dad were alive, he would be 69 years old today! Because I was young when he passed away my memories are mostly situational. Some of my favorite memories and stories of my dad revolve around the pranks he would pull on his friends. I think I relish the fun of it as much as he did.

I'm still scheming for the ultimate revenge on Kane for my facebook fan page (which I not-so-secretly love). Got any ideas? I've got some new thoughts but haven't carried them through yet.

In the meantime, I will show you what I did to get started.

Apparently, Kane is a celebrity with many talents.

He misses his old ice skating days...

And starring in his own TV show...

They made a movie about his life... (I know you are, but what am I?)

Then came the sequel...

Now he's a family man we all look up to.

Kane won't let me post the really good ones. I had one from Old School, Borat (my fav), and Semi-Pro which he deemed inappropriate since he is on staff at his church and working with youth. Bummer.

These will have to do.

Feel free to lend me any new ideas -- especially for Facebook.

What Up and Stuff

You aren't seeing double -- you are seeing Michael's new trick! Learned it from Kim's A#2 when we were in Ft. Worth.

Kim has been waiting for me to post those.
I have spent this past week trying to get organized (one of those posted resolutions!).
I've performed the bi-annual toyectomy and donated boxes full of toys. We got rid of a whole lotta stuff that hasn't been played with in a while. By "we" I mean "me".
While I catch you up on the o-so-interesting happenings of my past week, I will post some fun pictures as well. Here are Kim and Steph (high school friends) meeting me at Grapevine Mills before I went to pic the Doc up from his C.E. class.
Came home from Fort Worth on Sunday - which turned out to be Jacob's first fever-free day in over a week. I think Monday was the day my crud started. It has been a gradual process leading up to the always inevitable bronchitis. I expect to be in the doctor's office by the end of the week begging for some steroids. Asthma = fun. Since moving to this part of Oklahoma, I have been in the doctor's office at the end of January each and every year. All visits within a week of the date the year before. Hate to break with tradition!

As for my other resolutions, I've skimped on my bible-in-a-year readings, but completed all of my bible study lessons. I've cooked a lot of meals but didn't use a new recipe this week (unless you count substituting ground turkey for ground beef when I made tacos). I did make it to the gym three times this week. Due to lack of breathing this week I may give myself a pass on cardio.Getting ready for our upcoming ski trip in Utah! I can not wait. So glad that I will have my illness out of the way before we get there. Last year's trip started day #1 with no voice.

Flat Baloney has been busy! She went to the rodeo but lacked photo opps. She is currently traveling to somewhere that you would never guess. Pictures coming soon! She has also been on a fun girls night out. I had to miss the OK Blogger Hoedown (I haven't even begun to tell you what I think about being part of a Hoedown - what were you thinking with that name, Dawn?) but Flat Baloney attended in my place. Can't wait to see those pics!

Flat Baloney has been a lot of fun. I like her better than Hank (sorry Hank)! She is the star of my new FAN CLUB on Facebook. Thanks to old friend Kane, I now have my own fan club. Believe me, it's a joke. If you are on my friend list, search my name on facebook and add yourself to my fan club! It's very confusing when you read the wall, etc. because the fan club creator posts using my name and picture (key: look for my profile pic and you'll know it's what I posted.). Feel free to participate in the numerous discussion boards that I started for myself.

Tomorrow I'm going to post some of my revenge creations for Kane. You should definitely see them. I'm so proud!

I'm checking out a new (to me) find: Friend Feed. If you get on there come find me - Baloney. I'm also exploring the twitter moms network. Let me know if you need the link. I'm on there as ThatsBaloney.

Lastly, I got to celebrate Michael's teacher's birthday this week. Would have been even better if I had known it was her birthday! Oops. It was my regular volunteer time and therefore just a coincidence that I was there for the party!! Michael didn't get the note because we were in Texas when they were sent home.

I love, love, love hanging with those kiddos. Makes me miss teaching fifth grade -- a little. I would post some of their funny pictures except that wouldn't be too appropriate. You can just know that there were a lot looking like mine and Michael's.

If you know anyone who makes faces at the camera more than us, I would like to meet them. Not sure what our problem is! Regular pictures are just so... boring.

Now you are caught up.

I have a blog with such substance.

Another Story of Michael installment coming up this week.

It's a bonus...

If you haven't seen this yet, you are missing out.

I'll bet he is asked to be best man for a lot of weddings!

On another note:

The winner of the nosepicker prize is...



DRUM ROLL, PLEASE





Shannon!!!!

Thanks to all of you who left comments. You are my favorites. :)

I wrote the names down on little papers and had Jacob hand me one.
It was a very involved and scientific process.

So, Miss Shannon... mousepad or t-shirt? I have a large and an XL t-shirt available. We can wear them to board meetings, etc. whenever we go places together.

Congrats!

Let me know what you think of the video.

True Genius

And you thought your kids were clever...
Can they do this?

Potty Words

Face it - we all love potty humor.

There's the usual fart jokes and poop humor. But we aren't going to go there. I know - you're shocked!

There's the actual toilet paper roll debates to laugh about...

We even call the toilet funny names such as "the Throne."

But this week, I haven't felt like laughing about potty humor.

My 5 year old has resumed the potty issues. There's been poop in his pants. Poop in the bathtub (yeeeeeshhh). For good measure, we've even thrown in some good bed wetting here and there.

The toilet keeps running. They weren't flushing correctly. And then there were the run overs. We don't want to talk about how many times my toilets have backed up and poured human waste out on to my floors in the past few months.

It was time to call the plumber. About a year past time to call him if you really want to know.

And the plumber arrived and told me just what I needed to fix my problem. You may not find this as funny as I did, but I can't believe that they said it with a straight face.

I needed TWO ballcocks and FIVE corkies. Found out later that I would be needing two handles as well. Do these toilet part names sound a little suggestive to you? First the tangelos - now this. IT'S EVERYWHERE!!

In case you are wondering... here is a photo of a corky. Not MY corky - A corky. I would never post my own corky on the internet.

And here's my next bit of education for you. What you are about to see is a ballcock. I'm wondering who in the heck named this thing. Who looked at this contraption and thought... "I think I'll call this a ballcock."

Who knew plumbers were so funny?

Which came first potty humor or potty names? Chicken or the egg?

Must take a lot of practice for these guys to keep a straight face while they flash corkies in people's faces and tell them they need a ballcock.

I'm sure when we get the bill we won't be laughing anymore.

Weird

They like me... they really really like me!

I don't really know WHO "they" are, but someone voted for me. And for that I thank you.

I didn't know I'd been nominated until I saw Georgie's comment. I immediately clicked on the link and scrolled through. Lots of options listed -- Best Overall, Best Humor, Best Family Blog, Best Looking... none of them had my name on them. I was beginning to think that Georgie was playing a mean prank!

But then I saw it. It was a moment of laughter and horror all at once!

Best Unusual Blog.

So this is where you categorize me.

I could sit and try to read a lot in to it, but I won't. I'm honestly just flattered that people thought of me in the first place! So if you were one of them. Thank you from the bottom of my unusual heart.

And of course I am nominated on the day that I write about the similarities of tangelos and boobs. Dang!

If you are a member of BlogOklahoma then you can vote! Here is the link and details...

Only Okie bloggers with active Okie blogs at the start of nominations (Jan. 2) are eligible. "Active" is defined as having at least one blog post during the last 60 days of 2008. An "Okie blog" is defined as having at least one active blog author residing within the state of Oklahoma. All Okie Blog Awards are decided only by Okie bloggers. A blogger cannot vote for his or her own blog.A blogger can only vote for one blog per category.The voting period ends on Feb. 7, 2009.Copy and paste the following entry list with your vote for each and send to obawards08@okiedoke.com

Categories

Best Overall Blog ------Best Political Blog ------Best Family Blog ------Best Humor Blog ------Best Audio Blog ------Best Looking Blog ------Best Unusual Blog ------Best Writing Blog ------Best Commentary ------Best Culture Blog ------Best Inspirational Blog ------Best Commercial Blog

Your blog address --------- You must include a link to your own blog in the email.

So, welcome Okie Bloggers who are checking out my unusual-ness.
If you are voting... Pick me! Pick me!! I'm your favorite weird one!!

And please, check out some my blog pals and their lovely blogs that were nominated:
Dawn's Diversions
Having A Ball
Pleeze Pass Tha Pees but Holde Da KoRn (AnnieBananie)
Yogi's Den
Bloggin It From the Burbs
Decisionally Challenged

Oh boy. Did I miss anyone? If I did, let me know and I will fix it!

I'd love to have your vote. I checked out the competition and I don't have a chance! So, just know I'm thrilled that you guys thought of me. I'm excited to see some new faces visiting and hope they leave comments! I'm also looking forward to checking out some new blogs.

So, there. I said it. Congrats to the nominees and good luck to you!

An Orange By Any Other Name...

...would taste as sweet?
When you think or oranges, you picture something like this: Round. Orange. Easy to identify, yes?

I went to Doc's office last week to get my tooth checked. When I was there, I saw a box full of oranges that made me look twice - or maybe even a few times.

You know my sense of humor is a little on the quirky side. You know I look at things a little differently, but you tell me. Do you see what I see?

When you look at this... what do you see?

Yeah. Me too.

These were sent by a very kind patient to Doc and his girls. A whole box of them!

They are quite tasty - if you can get past the fact that you are peeling a boob.

These oranges invaded my thoughts all day and even made me giggle a time or two. I know.

I'm so mature.

They intrigued me enough to find out what they really are so I googled them.

Maybe you've heard of them? Maybe you even accepted their appearance without too much thought. Good for you!

For the rest of you, me thinks these are Minneola Tangelos. The Orlando Tangelo (which looks the same) hybrid was created by WT Swingle. Wonder if being SWINGLE was his inspiration?

Then after the Swingle man created the Orlando Tangelo, someone with a sense of humor created the Minneola variety. If you think about the name long enough, you'll get where I'm headed.

Sounds a little like another word that I won't be typing but may be appropriate for the "characteristic knob at the stem end of the orange."

And while we are learning new things... I learned something new about one of Doc's assistants this weekend. She had to travel with us for the class Doc was taking in Texas.

Such a pretty girl with such talent. Wish I had the whole thing on film but I caught her in the middle of it. Here's what I'm talking about:

It's that thang they call RODEO

In case you are wondering, I do still love the rodeo! I'm certain that the others don't share my passion for it, but my boys DID love it. They'd like to go each year!

I'm going to share some pictures with you along with some trip highlights. I didn't take nearly the number of pictures I had planned to.

Jacob started off the trip on day 8 of having a fever. Kept thinking it would surely end. It finally did after 10 solid days. So the little guy was not quite himself. Started off at the doctor's the day before we left.

Couldn't hardly move. Not a great start for the late evenings coming up - but life goes on.

Got to see some high school friends (Kane and Kim) for lunch. Also got to hang out with Kim's girls!

But the parts of my trip you will enjoy will be mentioned later.

First, I will torture you with more pictures.

Here is Stef from Doc's office tossing out the whiny kid.

Got to see my niece and nephew also! Here is the cutest cowgirl, Miss K.

There was a lot of excitement for the boys when they saw RIDES at the Stock Show. Here is Michael with Cousin Z.

Watching this...Made my favorite red head do this.

He was loving every minute.

And the others looked more like this.

Crappy photo (bberry) but you can see Doc looking bored and Jacob cheering them on!

One of my sisters-in-law had to cancel at the last minute so I managed to get my friends Misti and Greg to take their seats.

But here is the real fun.

Poop issues (Jacob) are back. In the past week, I've cleaned poop out of the bathtub twice and out of underwear too many times to count. AAAAAAaaack!! Why me?

At the hotel, my adorable black haired 5 year old did something extraordinary - besides pooping in their bathtub. I'm happy to give you a play by play. The bottom line is that Jacob ordered porn in my hotel room. Yeah, you heard me. Porn!

Doc was in class.

I settled the boys in front of the TV with Nick, Jr. cartoons on and jumped in the shower.

As soon as I got the shampoo mixed in Michael opened the bathroom door and yelled, "Jacob just ordered a GROWN UP movie!"

I'm sure you can think of a hundred reactions better than mine. I know I can!

I paused for a moment and then asked, "What is the movie called?" (The title wasn't very exciting)

I told Michael to turn the TV off and wait for me to finish my shower.

When asked later, he only saw a "car chase and some violence." Whew!

I didn't ask about it any further - but I did call the front desk and explain the situation. There was a slight chuckle and a promise that I would not be billed for it.

Two things learned here:

1. These things are even more accessible than I thought. I mean, who knew a child who can't read would be able to order porn?

2. Jacob is just as ornery as I thought.

So, back to the rodeo.

Tons of fun. Lots of cowboy hats. Saw some good friends. Spent time with family. Relaxed (mostly) at the hotel.

Baloney can't take a boring trip.

But someday I would like to try it out - just for kicks.