Stolen

When you have a pool, certain people will take certain liberties.

I have never doubted that this one would be the first.

I also don't doubt this will be the last time for him.

As his mom, I try not to think about it.

Moms - lock up your daughters because

here comes trouble.

Recently, I was watching "trouble" swim while reading my book.

I looked up to discover this.

Don't worry, he is alive.

Just floating around playing.

But something is missing.

Something really important.

Can you tell what it is?

Maybe this will help.

He started off with a bathing suit and then it disappeared.

I asked where it was, so he smiled and climbed out of the pool.

He had to walk (naked) across the pool deck to the patio to tell me what had happened to it. For some reason, it needed to be whispered.

"Someone stoled my bathing suit."

I can't imagine who, since Jacob and I were the only ones out there - but these things happen. Not to me.

Whoever it was, they returned it later.

I'd hate to call the stolen bathing suit report in to the local police.

That would be embarrassing.

Virtual Makeover

Found another new addiction and I've probably spent the last hour playing with this.

You can imagine the pure *JOY* I felt at finding I could save the images and share them with you!

The original thought for even checking this website out is that you can try on different hairstyles and hair colors with your picture.

I started with this picture.

Never mind my skin is glowing from the sweat. I was in Vegas, baby... yeah! That explains why this photo works, actually. My hair was in a pony tail which makes it easy to add new hair photos to it!

I filled in my FREE profile information and got busy.

Pure elation to find that I can try out celebrity looks with a mere click on the mouse. Does your hair and your makeup.

I'm gweneth...

I'm Lucy Liu...

I'm some gal named Maria Menounos (you probably know her but I don't)...

And I am soooooo Taylor Swift...

Or not.

Then I finally figured out how to add a little makeup and try on normal people's hairstyles. I will admit that my usual hairstyle varies only in length over the years.

Since I've never worn a tiara, I gave myself one for this picture. You might call it Princess Baloney. This was actually a celeb 'do as well - but I can't remember whose.

I will tell you that I tried out all the hairstyles I've thought about trying and was never brave enough to do. Most of them looked horrible - so I'm glad I'm a cautious kind of gal. Call me boring. I don't care!

I have been thinking I might dye my hair brown in the fall. I got a big "N-O" from KR. Caci likes the idea, though. Doc says he married a blond. Not sure if that has any deeper meaning but we'll pretend he is just talking about my hair color and not my intelligence.

Now I can get your opinions! Granted, I will not be going as dark as some of these but let me know what you think:

this is a bronzy brown

This one was a soft black. Not gonna do it. Kind of like it though?

This is somewhere between blond and brown but is called dark blond (I think?). Definitely not liking the 'do. This was before I figured out how to ease up on the makeup part.

Here is close to what I already have (sans roots). Had bangs growing up until around the time I started having kids then I ditched them. That's the only major change in hairstyle for me. Now I just vary with the length.

Here is the baloney of the future.

I'm thinking about 30 years (if I'm lucky). This hair color plus a few million wrinkles.

Yes. You can even test out the silvers. Had to try out the old lady up-do.

But here is the real future baloney.

Trying out the hairstyles is super fun. Don't you know I will still have the same one in 2038? Probably.

Didn't see a place to add wrinkles. Think I can do that on my own.

Want to give it a try yourself? Click here.

Know Your Caps? It's Quiz Day!

You Really Know Your State Capitols

You Got 19 State Capitols Correct You're either a geography buff... or you have an excellent memory.

Do You Know Your State Capitols?

What We've Been Doing

So here's your recap of my life in the last week... or two.

Doc has completed 3 golf tournaments in 3 weeks. He also played a game for another tournament that is ongoing. Wednesday through Saturday every week for three weeks. Golf, golf, golf.

In Arkansas with my parents, we rode around little and watched the Doc and Papa Dad.

He putts. Woo hoo.

Tell me what is exciting about this game?

Stand outside in hot weather with humidity. All day?

Then afterwards he looks like this.

Why don't I adore this hobby?

Got some other funny pictures, too. Like the one with Doc pretending to be a penguin?

And... oops - missed it.

Ok, he didn't really miss. That was his practice swing.

That's what HE says anyway.

Michael found this in the garage.

All he had to say was, "That...Is... GNARLY."
Found out that Doc had put it in there after finding it in the pool. Love those snake skins.
Michael also tried to help with Doodle and informed him that he had an "attitude problem" when the Dood wouldn't cooperate.

And lastly, Michael discovered the high dive. I hate the high dive!! My knees start wobbling up there and I've been known to climb back down the ladder. Not Michael! He climbed up and couldn't wait to jump. Screamed like a girl all the way down then went right back to the line to do it again.

Jacob pooped in his pants. Only once in the last week! Jacob spends all of his time watching TV or playing with friends outside or swimming.

He has also decided to live with me forever. I told him he can live with me and his daddy as long as he wants (never fear - he will be the first to bolt).

Jacob then clarified his intentions - "No mom. Just you."
Think someone (besides me) might be a little mad about all the golf?

Doodle is getting bigger. And feistier. Two nights ago I was up until 1:30 a.m. with him. He swallowed a large chunk of rawhide that we didn't know about. YES, I know about the dangers of rawhide - but have you ever had a lab puppy use you as a chew toy?
At 11:45 p.m. I heard the heaves and turned the light on. Doodle had barfed in his crate. Doc and I got up, took him outside. Cleaned up the crate. Put him back in. Midnight -- more barfing. More cleaning. Back in the crate. At 12:15 I heard him whimper and ran out of bed to let him out. With seconds to spare I had him out and opened the back patio door in the nick of time for him to spew all over the patio. By 1 a.m. he was fine (6 barfs later) but I stayed up just to be sure. Aren't you glad to know this? Another great thing to know is that the dogs cleaned up the mess on the patio the next morning. Now YOU can go barf.

Snicker hasn't caught that pesky squirrel yet.

He tries every day.

He did almost get a repair man that Jacob opened the door for. I tell Jacob not to open the door but occasionally he does it anyway. Snicker went after him like he does any stranger. Found the poor guy standing off the porch step and frozen in shock. 1,000 apologies to the poor man.

Me? I just wrote a bunch of Kappa recs did a little pilot program work and entertained two little ornery boys. I also got my toenails painted again with my good friend Caci and did a little shopping while our husbands had a golfing hiatus. Suz - I got red nails again. Oh no!

I (heart) Joel McHale.

Caught up on my E! Talk Soup shows last night. Hooray for DVRs!

I usually just smile and genuinely think things are funny. I don't laugh out loud (you know -- the big "guffaw") hardly ever. But Joel McHale's sense of humor is the rare kind that makes me laugh out loud and tickles my funny bone like no other. Doc says I have a weird sense of humor, but I just think it takes a bit of extra funny to make me laugh that way.

Once upon a time there was a heated debate over anatomical parts at a dinner club with friends. If only we'd known this guy it would have taken care of the whole thing.

Yes, some girls discuss books. Some talk about their kids. Maybe some of you even get real philosophical with questions like - "Why does the number 5 on the calculator and phone have a dot on it?"

No surprise to anyone that we talked about something very taboo and inappropriate. It was a "hairy" debate. And we still laugh about it.

So, KR - this is most especially for you...

Enjoy!




Someone's parents have a sense of humor.

Speed Test

The person I got this from did WAY better than me.
I'm okay with that.

69 words

Second try...
72 words

Speed test

Better but...
This could be addicting for me. Scary.

How did you do?
Click here.

Never Argue With A Woman's Logic

The garage is not a closet.

When we built our house, I made sure the Doc had ample space on his side of the closet. And he does. I have more, of course. The Doc wears scrubs every day so his side is full of golf shirts and khakis. His dress shoes go with everything. I have to have more options. It's just the rule and can't be argued.

That being said, there are closet items that never make it to Doc's closet.
This makes me crazy.

According to the Doc, the rails in the garage have 2 functions.
Yes. Hanging near the brooms and mops is Randy's shirt. SO many questions start here.
1. How did your shirt end up... on a hanger... here?
2. Why did your shirt end up... on a hanger... here?
3. How long has said shirt been hanging here?
4. WHY IS THAT SHIRT NOT IN YOUR CLOSET?
I can't answer numbers 1, 2 or 4. It wasn't hanging there to dry - we have lots of hanging space in our laundry room. Oh - and the Doc never does laundry.
I can answer number 3. Did you notice the shirt has long sleeves? That would be worn during the colder months (this is where my extreme ability with logic comes in). This shirt hasn't been worn this winter... or fall. This shirt has therefore been in my garage on a hanger on the rail for over a year.
Notice the shoulders on it. He has ruined it. It will never be worn again. It is permanently warped.
And it isn't a cheap shirt either!
If you didn't notice the little man riding the horse, then here's your tag. It's a POLO.
I know what you are thinking... that I should just take care of it. I get tired of picking up after everyone in this house. Why can't someone in the house pick up after themselves -- I mean, besides me?
This shirt isn't the only annoyance left in my garage. Why stop there?

Where else would you hang a microwavable heating pad for your neck - but... on a ladder?Next to your shirt of course.
And old bed rails for a bed you don't even have? Keep them. On the floor of your garage. Along with that filthy duster thing. It will dust well if you leave it on the floor of the garage with the other things that blow in. Remind me never to use the gray blanket, either.

If I needed extra room for all of my golf shoes, this is the first place I would think of.
The garage floor? For my shoes?

I'm not including a closet picture in this blog so you will just have to take my word for it. He has plenty of room!!! His side of the closet is bigger than Michael's first bedroom. Ok, not really - but it is close!

Next to the fire pit cover (which is doing a fine job at the moment?) and the firewood, is an old set of golf clubs. Keeps saying he's going to donate these.

And while I'm on a roll...

See the bike, next to the box filled with Christmas lights that goes in the attic a few months back? There is a child seat on my bike. I have wanted that removed from my bike for 8 years now. Jacob never even rode in it - it was Michael's. I can't ride my bike!!!

Here are my shelves in the garage. The bath stuff is gone now (thanks Jen!) but was actually Doc's if you really want to know. I bought it (along with several others) 2 Christmases ago for his staff and he never gave this one away. It was stored in the trunk of his car for at least 8 months before I rescued it to this shelf. My shelves aren't perfect, but... this is where my pantry overflow goes.

Not so complicated.

I do love the Doc. I wouldn't pick anyone else to harass. This still drives me crazy.

I looked up the word NAG since I knew that is what you would be thinking. You are feeling bad for the Doc with all his dirty laundry hanging out there on the net - and in our garage.

Something interesting to note is the definition in bold:

Nag
v.tr.
To annoy by constant scolding, complaining, or urging.
To torment persistently, as with anxiety or pain.v.intr.
To scold, complain, or find fault constantly: nagging at the children.
To be a constant source of anxiety or annoyance: The half-remembered quotation nagged at my mind.

Hmmm... according to the definition - WHO is the nag? I originally thought me (with absolutely great reason of course). But if Doc is my constant source of my annoyance, then maybe HE is the nag?

It's in the dictionary so it must be true.

How To... Look Presentable In 10 Minutes Or Less

There aren't many people who know me that would come to me for fashion advice. I can't say I blame them!

I don't think I'm a total disaster, I'm just not all that trendy.

Besides, I would wear my PJ's all day long if I thought I could get away with it.

Before kids, that is how I spent a lot of my Saturdays. Sat around in my pajamas. I always knew it was a luxury. Now it is impossible! Rarely does a Saturday come around that isn't booked all day. Sunday is out of the question - we get up and go to church.

Some of my favorite school mornings are the ones when my neighbors and I are out in our pj's sending our kids off to school, drinking our coffee. We laugh at our tacky pj's and ooohh and ahhh over someone's latest pj "find" at Target.

So, I'm going to offer some unsolicited advice. A little tip from me. It's called "How To Look Like Crap -- And Get Away With It."

I'm not sure if you gals have thought this through like I have, but I find that it works for me.

You may see me and think it is decidedly NOT working for me. I don't really want to hear from you. I like my little bit of blissful ignorance. You are probably one of those girls that gets up at 5 a.m. with every hair in place and full makeup on. That makes this whole entry a waste of your reading time.

For those of you with one eyebrow up thinking -- what is the secret? I'm going to tell you.

To avoid this:

You simply dress more intentional.

Like you are going to the gym.

Fitness is very important to you, right?

Buy some gym clothes that aren't TOO cute and not TOO frumpy either. Just plain gym clothes that look like your average fitness person.

When you wake up and know you've run out of time to look presentable, put them on. Brush your hair. And for goodness sakes - brush your teeth. If you must put on makeup then go with the bare minimum. For me that is some powder and lip gloss.

Then put on those gym clothes.

Here's the other secret.

You don't actually have to GO to the gym. You don't even have to intend to go. If you don't belong to a gym then you may substitute "gym" for "going for a run/bike ride" or whatever exercise you might be able to get away with claiming.

Now you can be the envy of all your friends and acquaintances.

They will say things like, "Gee, I wish I had time to go to the gym today" (this is a personal slam from busy moms but just smile and ignore) or "That's what I should be doing". They will admire your dedication to health and well being.

And you will smile knowing that you've gotten away with it.

Who knows? You might even find yourself at the gym ~ occasionally.

Unexpected

Yesterday we got some unexpected visitors.

My parents decided to come here a day early and they brought Michael back to us! Michael stayed when we went to Arkansas and his favorite cousin Lauren flew in for the week, too. Mom claims she ran out of milk and bread and didn't want to go to the store to stock the frig for just one day before traveling. Huh? The folks are exhausted but Michael was in heaven to spend that much time with Lauren.

Lauren is about 8 months older than Michael (and one school grade ahead). She and Michael have always lived 5 hours apart but they have also always had a special bond. Michael thinks the world of her and she adores him too. For Michael this is exceptional. There are very few people that Michael values as much as he does his Lauren!

This was a first for Michael and I hope Gigi and PapaDad will do it again next year. I missed my little red head but I enjoyed hanging out with just Jacob, too. Jacob was a little jealous and is already making plans to be there with cousin Big D next summer.

I got a big hug and an "I missed you" out of him when Michael arrived home. :)

Doc asked Michael if he had missed him.

Michael said, "I didn't think of you one bit."

Nice, Michael. Real nice.

So, first things first. Time to have more fun.

Jacob has been all over Lauren since she got here. We are lucky that Michael is willing to share her!

But of course, the return of a brother means...

Yes. Brotherly love. Or whatever you would like to call it.

The fighting has commenced.

Can't we all just get along?

It's Just Veggies

This blog entry is about Vacation Bible School (VBS), but by the time I am done you will wonder. I'm just warning you, that's all.

I'm also going to tell you that the last couple of days I was harassed because I hadn't blogged about this particular subject yet. Several members of our crew have been wondering how I'm going to blog this.

Brent and I have so much fun working together. This was our 3rd year as leaders of the kitchen crew for VBS. We love working with Virginia - the kitchen manager. I have learned to tie my apron in front so the maintenance guys will quit untying it when they walk by. I've improved my aim and hit one of them with a carrot top from across the kitchen. Don't worry. It was the part you cut off and throw away. No food fights. No food wasted.

It has evolved and this year was a big change. In the past we had a large crew and cooked a LOT of stuff. This year the budget was scaled down, the crew was scaled down, the location of things distributed was changed... sometimes change is GOOD. Can you believe I said that?

We were disappointed at first about not baking. We both love to cook! Feeding 1,500 people a day was a fun challenge for us. We have a lot of pals who will never understand this but believe me - it is true.

Brent took this picture of me and I am posting it to show that I really did work this week.
After Curt's comment on the other blog I feel a strange need to defend myself. We chopped a lot of veggies this week but carrots are always the favorite.

What's Up, Doc?

This was our first year to be working with teens on our crew. This little cutie was really helpful. All of our teens were great and we had 7 of them. Some required a little "babysitting" but most of them were self-motivated and ready to work.

After a week of chopping carrots, bossing teens and setting up boundaries (some of the moms let their kids come through the adult food line!) for people who need them... you start to feel like this:
I might also mention that my feet were throbbing by the end of the day. Reminds me of the old waitressing days when I'd pull a double.
I fixed the picture to help you understand exactly how I was feeling:
I am in serious need of some therapy.
I'll also tell you something you don't want to know.
PMS and VBS are not friends.
There is more to this story but I'm not sure I can blog it (Brent and Caci know it and would probably agree).
See how big that knife is?
We needed that big knife for those carrots.
But these were humongous.

Need a closer look?

Yes. I'm talking about those cucumbers.
The subject of many laughs this week.
I know it isn't appropriate.
We were at CHURCH. Teaching KIDS. About GOD.
And we giggled like little girls about those freakishly large cucumbers.

People raved about the cucumbers in the food line. This only made us smile a very knowing smile and agree that the cucumbers were a nice addition. They only saw them chopped up in little circles. We had to face these monsters every day in the kitchen. The teens even had some comments and wide-eyed stares regarding the cucumbers but they never heard us talking about them (we have such high standards, you know).
If you are confused about why I can't stop talking about the giant cucumbers, then I'm just not going to explain it to you. Figure it out. It was funny.
Maybe you had to be there.


Or maybe this will help.
Brent forwarded me a funny website that I simply must share about a candy idea gone wrong:
Yes. Those are l-i-g-h-t-h-o-u-s-e-s. To read the article, click here.

And one more picture from Brent that she insisted I include on what we've termed the cucumber blog:
See? It's everywhere. We're not the only ones with our minds in the gutter.
Check out the cucumbers at Sam's and see if they don't make you laugh.

I had originally said that this was our last year to do kitchen together.
I'm thinking I would miss it too much. I know I would miss Brent.
The changes were good and made our job easier.
And we couldn't possibly allow someone else to take away all our fun.
And I would sure miss those cucumbers.